I am capable of eating tremendous amounts of food...
How is it that I was not able to put down a plate of ribs from this place? Mind you, it was ALL YOU CAN EAT RIBS for $20...To be answered soon.
The wife and I are staying at a near by extended stay because our house blew up. After passing by this place for 3 weeks straight, we decided to make a night of her birthday and take her to this steak and seafood place in Newbury Park called Holdren's... Apparently this place has a huge following since it's a copy of a much more renowned Holdren's up in Santa Barbara known for their wine and meat.
We get there kinda early since we're trying to see Tron later in the evening. We get into our booth with my wife's sister and glaze over the menu...A lot of promise. A date night menu? Cajun calamari? Appetizers look great, but they had me at $20 all you can eat ribs. Me being HUNGRY ordered the all you can eat ribs for $20. It even came with a salad and a side.
Classy...My hungry sister in law decided to order the same thing, but my wife, considering it's her birthday, ordered a medium10 oz filet mignon with garlic mashed potatoes.
My wedge salad isn't something to write home about, but they did use a lot bleu cheese crumples, which I like a lot. The ranch was ehhhh...On to the ribs...
They weren't hot...It's like the ribs were left out or precooked or something because the food wasn't even warm. I started to eat since I'm starving, but only get through about 3 ribs before I have to send it back. By the time I got the waitress, my food was cold with about a third of the ribs eaten...My sister in law can't even eat half of hers and wants hers warmed up too.
My wife's filet mignon comes...well done...
I'm sorry, but if you are a steak eater, over cooking meat is like pissing into the holy water at church...You just don't do it.
We had them try again, only to leave it charred on the outside and raw on the inside.
Seriously?
You want to mess up a birthday? Over, then under cook my wife's steak.
My ribs come back nice and hot, but then it hits me...My stomach HURTS...I'm not doubled over, but I'm definitely not feeling good...My sister in law looks at me the same way. We both are not feeling well and start to get the swallows. You know that reflex you get when you know you're gonna hurl after a long night of drinking? It was that bad...
It was my wife's birthday, so we think we should go somewhere else for dessert.
The waitress was nice enough to pick up dessert for us, so we stuck around. I mean, how bad can you mess up dessert? After letting us know that they didn't have what we wanted (A brownie sundae), we settled for cheesecake...The cheesecake was lumpy...Something just wasn't right...The waitress let us know that she was sorry that things just weren't going well and that the restaurant's freezer was broken...
THANKS FOR TELLING US AFTER YOU'VE GIVEN US THE CHEESECAKE WHORE!
We pick up the tab and race to Rite-Aid for Pepto-Bismol...
I DIDN'T EVEN FINISH MY RIBS! If you know me, I ALWAYS finish my food...ALWAYS!
Those commercials are no joke...I was feeling fine in about 20 minutes, but I found myself drinking the stuff every 30-45 minutes to keep things down.
On to Tron.
Tron was a lot better then I had expected. Absolute light show in 3D...If you were on acid or ecstasy, your brain would probably explode.
Feeling much better and hungry after the movie, we head to TGI Friday's in Thousand Oaks. We only go for one reason...The brownie obsession...
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| Not my picture, but thanks google images! |
It's my wife's favorite, so being that it's her birthday, I figure we should indulge her, especially after the disaster at Holdren's.
We get seated at a booth next to the bar and my wife goes to wash her hands. I tell the server immediately that it's my wife's birthday and all we came here for was the Brownie Obsession...
Server: Awww...I'm sorry, we don't have any more brownies...
Me: Seriously?
Server: Seriously...
I told my wife what was going on and even she didn't believe me.
Could this get any better? TGIF is in the same shopping center as RiteAid, home of my wife's favorite ice cream. She walks over while the gimpy sister in law and I order a three for all...Right after we order food, my wife comes back empty handed...
Me: You finished that ice cream quick...
Wife: They said they couldn't serve me ice cream because they didn't have someone there to scoop me ice cream. Apparently, you need to pass a class on scooping ice cream and the only person on shift that is qualified to scoop ice cream will be back in 10 minutes.
Me: F@#$ing Christ...
I get up and go to RiteAid in the rain and demand ice cream for my wife's birthday. I made them give me 4 scoops of ice cream in the most angry, dark and tall guy attitude possible. Seriously? Not qualified to scoop ice cream mother f@#$ers? What kind of people does RiteAid hire as to where they cannot figure out how to scoop ice cream? Is that ice cream mechanism that complicated?
I get back to TGIF with a mound of ice cream and my wife is immediately satiated. The food that my sister in law and I ordered still hasn't arrived...
Seriously?
I was on serious rampage mode by the time the check came. It took her 20 minutes to get us water. I found the manager and asked for the check...
This happens to me and the wife all the time when going out for our birthdays...
List of restaurants that have messed up: (Read my reviews on yelp.com)
Koji's in Hollywood
Fleming's in Woodland Hills X 2!
Cafe 14 in Agoura
Holdren's in Newbury Park
So it's a short list, but I've only been married for a little over a year and a half. The only place that hasn't given us the shaft is Outback in Thousand Oaks...Seriously...
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